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Joke of the Day

"Q: How many actors does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: 100: One to do it and ninety-nine to say ""I could've done that."""

"What type of milk does Bernie Sanders drink? Whole milk because he cares about all the milk and not just the top 1% milk!"

"My wife doesn't know this, but for the first 3 years of our marriage I thought we were supposed to share a toothbrush."

"Yesterday i accidentally cut off the left side of my body! Im all right now."

"What does Michael Jackson and j.c. penny have in common? Little boys pants half off."

"What is small, bald and wrinkled? Danny DeVito"

"Lighten up your drive-thru experience by saying ""I just need two buns"" into the speaker then pulling up with a live cow in your backseat."

"Part of being a woman means you can break your leg or be having a cardiac arrest & a nurse will still ask when your last period was."

"When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV? During PRIME time!"

"Sometimes, when I close my eyes, I... can't see."