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Joke of the Day
"How do Muslim women get wrinkles off their faces? Fabric softener."
Next Joke
"What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire? mourning wood"
"What kind of tie is best to wear in a fight? Muay Thai"
"Remember how in Lord of the Rings they slept out under the stars? It was pretense."
"[mysterious old lady flips tarot card revealing a dude who looks exactly like me flying a hot air balloon into power lines] Me: is that good"
"Black or white... We all have white in our blood."
"Finally watching Michael Bay's TMNT. Best part so far is a dude answering a Skype call and yelling ""How did you get this number?!?"""
"If you speak Japanese... Why would you support Trump? He's such a card."
"My grandpa is a total pervert My mom told me he had a stroke at my sister's piano recital"
"Girl, are you some good weed? because you smell dank."