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Joke of the Day

"what if all your eggs hatched and when u opened the fridge a dozen baby chicks were staring up at u like u were their mom"

"Anyone can overcome adversity. But it takes real strength to complain and then give up."

"Fun trick to play on your partner: ""Don't you remember what day this is?"""

"The Madame opened up a new sporting-house with an eye to cutting costs. She had all the rooms on one story to cut out the fuckin' overhead."

"Me: This is a picture of my aunt Marge... Rest in peace. Friend: I'm so sorry for your loss. Me: Oh, she's not dead, she's just really lazy."

"I love being excluded from things Should have got a green card"

"Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes."

"What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider? A harenet."

"Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, ""A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?"" The other monster replied, ""Be a gentleman and roll them back to her."""

"What do you call a german that can't see? A nazi."