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Joke of the Day

"Hell is full of ugly babies, tinkerbell tshirts and fat women debating the tastiness of frozen meals.....oh wait. This is just walmart"

"Everyone said I should get a kid I really don't see what all the fuss is about. All mine does is ask 'How long until I can see my parents again?'"

"What college did Michael Jackson go to? Bringham Young"

"Why did the chicken say, ""Meow, oink, bow-wow, moo?"" He was studying foreign languages."

"I get irrationally angry when someone else is in the laundry room at the same time I am"

"A dead battery walks into a bar,and asks for the price of a pint of beer. The barman responds, ""For you, sir, no charge."""

"Why did Mike Dukakis lose the 1998 Presidential election? He TANKED his campaign!"

"What's black and doesn't work in an office? Decaf coffee!"

"A Roman Walks into a Bar He holds up two fingers, and says ""'l'll Have 5 Beers Please"""

"What is the difference between the government and the Mafia? One of them is organized."