214486

Joke of the Day

"Why should jokes always be sent over TCP? Because you're assured that the recipient will get it. (Don't you DARE explain the joke in the comments)"

"Did yo hear about the Hillary special at KFC? Two fat thighs and a left wing for $2.99"

"A police officer came up to me yesterday and said, ""Where were you between four and six?"" I said, ""Kindergarten."""

"this is ur brain *an egg* this is drugs *a frying pan* this is ur brain on drugs *egg & frying pan wearing sunglasses*"

"I'm not saying I'm a jinx But the first time I played Tetris the first thing that dropped for me was a circle"

"What's the difference between a circus and a whore house? My dad didn't meet my mom at a circus or take me their when I turned 5"

"Scared the postman by going to the door naked. I'm not sure what scared him more, my naked body or the fact that I knew where he lived."

"A feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships? ""in HD"""

"What do you get when you cross... an insomniac, a dyslectic, and an agnostic... A: someone whos stays up at night wondering if there's dog"

"#1 Handjob Tip for Women: Use your mouth."