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Joke of the Day

"Does anyone know the address of the Admin who banned Doxxing? I'd like to give them a piece of my mind."

"Sir. Your burrito is $5.97. With guacamole, your total comes to $386,932.32"

"What's the difference between writing your will and owning an ant farm? One's a legacy, the other a sea of legs."

" What do you think about sex before marriage? Well, as long as it doesn't delay the ceremony..."

"Never date a tennis player Love means nothing to them."

"[Forest] GF: Oh god it's a bear! Me: *Stuffs socks down front of pants* GF: What are you doing? Me: Making myself look big Bear: Well hi"

"[watching House of Cards] where are the cards"

"What is the cheapest part of a boat? The part with the sail in it."

"Att'n birds in my yard: the one to the LEFT of the feeder is for drinking, the one to the RIGHT is for bathing. Get it together you guys."

"So you need Andy Reid to take you to the airport for an international flight... lol you didn't learn anything from 2004?"