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Joke of the Day

"I found a 1,700 yard rock the other day.... It was a real milestone."

"What's the difference between an apple and a baby? People didn't freak out for no reason when I started eating an apple in public."

"Honesty is the best policy, but I also recommend a lot of life insurance."

"when I hit 45 I'm going to start sleeping in a coffin. let's be honest, my lifestyle choices have been questionable"

"What hat does a Mexican wear to a funeral? A somber-ero."

"I hate unoriginal jokes on Reddit..... said the chicken as he walked across the road"

"what do you call a private, romantic rendezvous between two feet a podiatryst"

"Why do black people wear flares? because their knee grows"

"[Opens hand sanitiser] SUbmiT YoUr SOuL tO EternAL HeLL fiRe [closes lid] wtf? [looks at label] LINDA YOU BOUGHT HAND SATANISER AGAIN"

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"