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Joke of the Day

"Helicopter flying above my apartment. I wanna go out in my hoodie and start running like a thief."

"Marathons should keep going until only one person hasn't shit themselves and that person should be the winner."

"My wife ran off with my next door neighbour.. I sure do miss him."

"Why can't cops eat bacon? Because that would be cannibalism"

"I got free pancakes on International Pancake Day. International Women's Day is now almost over and I think I like pancake day better."

"Did you know that Kennedy was a sex addict? I guess that's why they call it the 'White' House ( )"

"""It's a boy!"" ...he screamed, ""it's a boy!"". Tears rolling down his face, and he vowed to never go back to Thailand."

"{batman walking downstairs} ""Hmmm. Looks like Catwoman's left me a present"" [the half-eaten corpse of Birdman lies lifeless on the carpet]"

"CLICKBAIT JOKE THAT WILL MAKE YOU SAY ""Why is it deleted?"" [Deleted]"

"What happened to the native man that drank 23 cups of tea? He went home and drowned in his tea pee."