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Joke of the Day

"For me, girls are like blackjack... I try to go for 21 but I always hit on 14."

"WORK TIP: Respond to all your boss's emails with ""Heyyyy you!"""

"I want to see an episode of Intervention where the person is addicted to Nutella."

"Why don't chickens have lips? Because then they'd have soft peckers"

"There once was a man from Peru Whose limerick was three lines too few."

"Why should optometrists never tell jokes? Because they're too cornea."

"when i was 17 my bucket list was ""buy a house"" & ""marry a tycoon"" now i'm 27 it's ""tickle a baby hedgehog"" and ""learn Beyonce choreography"""

"[puts puppy in microwave] [googles instructions for making hotdogs] [quickly releases puppy from microwave]"

"How many male chauvinists does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Let the bitch wash the dishes in the dark."

"What do you call an Elf that sings? A wrapper! Merry Christmas. I hope you got what you wished for. ( )"