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Joke of the Day

"The supplement store said they were out of protein powder... 'No Whey!' I said"

"A Triceratops was recently found frozen in the ice... ... upon closer inspection it turned out to be a tricicle."

"I live in constant fear that my kid will become a famous artist or painter and I will have thrown out about a trillion dollars of her work."

"I was awakened with a blowjob today I need to start sleeping with my mouth closed."

"I used to assume most people were bright, kind, and at least somewhat informed. Then social media was invented."

"Lightbulb replacement..... How many black women does it take to change a lightbulb? All of them-----no one wants to be the charcoal-colored one."

"What do you call a parent named Lee? Apparently"

"Responding to every question with ""deez nuts"" has alienated everyone close to me, but it has been worth it"

"I saw this sign that mad me shit my pants. It said 'bathroom closed'"

"""Excuse me miss, can I have the time? I'd check my watch but I can't take my eyes off you."""