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Joke of the Day
"Me: Sit. Dog: (confused dog look) Me: Stay! Dog: (continues packing suitcase)"
Next Joke
"Grad school is my excuse for everything. No text back? Grad school. Havent called in weeks? Grad school. I ate your last donut? Grad school!"
"""Whoever smelt it, dealt it..."" ""...so technically officer, this is YOUR marijuana"""
"[a postapocalyptic world where everyone has killed themselves so they dont have to hear my opinions] me: lemme explain y this is problematic"
"Who is this Rorschach guy? And why did he draw so many pictures of my parents fighting?"
"Sometimes when I close my eyes, I can't see."
"What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who likes to smoke weed ? A baked potato"
"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? She gagged a little"
"How did cell embarrass vegeta? He put a hole in his trunks."
"What is Kanye West's favourite kind of omelette? Omeletteyoufinish -stolen from raininginreverse on tumblr."