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Joke of the Day

"*gazing at the ocean* God: I told you NOT to leave the water on while we were on vacation. Angel: I'm sorr- God: SORRY DOESN'T FIX THIS MESS"

"If Obama is a Muslim extremist, then how come he's a gay prostitute?"

"My social outings consist of the ""maybe attending"" events I never attend on Facebook."

"How many retards does it take to change a light bulb? Well, line up so that I can find out.."

"""Sorry, that was my bad."" ""Your bad what?"" ""No. I'm just sayin': Sorry. My bad."" ""You're bad at completing an apologetic sentence?"" ""Yeah"""

"Do the right thing. Not right away, but like after you get called out."

"Billy: Hi! What's your name? Johnny: Johnny. B: Hey, what's THAT? J: An iPhone 4. Mom: Who's your new friend, Billy? B: Johnny. He's poor."

"Why do cats love small spaces? 'cause pussies gotta be tight"

"Do you know why they call it the Xbox One? Because you take one look and walk away."

"Who likes debates Defish"