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Joke of the Day

"What did granny say after leaving her handbag on a bus? ""Allahu Akbar!"" I'm going to hell for this."

"I'm not sexist! Sexism is wrong. And being wrong is for women."

"I'm friends with 25 letters of the alphabet; I don't know why."

"My crushes are like the sun They're hot and if I stare for too long, I get hurt."

"Isn't giving fellatio... ...Just a taste of what's to come?"

"They should make halloween albums like they do for Christmas. I'd love to hear a Michael Buble version of Monster Mash."

"Did you all see the shots fired at the Democratic debate just now!!???? Hillary really took aim at Bernie over gun control."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Alka ! Alka who ! Alka-phone !"

"""Does this hurt?"" ""YES!"" ""What about this?"" ""OW!"" *Dr. writes notes* ""Patient shows symptoms of pain when stabbed with knife. Keep updates."""

"People who comment alternate punchlines can just fuck off like do they not realize how not funny it sounds after reading the original joke (okay come at me)"