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Joke of the Day
"When is the only time you're not American? When European."
Next Joke
"""They're like a sponge at this age"" I say to the parents of the baby I'm using to scrub dishes with."
"Why do fat people say they have to start eating right? They've obviously mastered the art of chewing and swallowing."
"A Scientologist and a Westboro Baptist Church member walk into a bar... No one goes to that bar anymore."
"Hi, Can I domesticate you?"
"TERRORISM ALERT!!! I'm gonna blow up the comments section"
"A hooker and a priest walk into a spaceship... It lasts for 1 season and a movie and everyone throws a fit when it won't come back."
"What does a drama student do while stuck in math class? She Cos(plays)"
"I've never met a black person that didn't have a cool nickname."
"My wife kicked me in the balls today... She always goes for the low-hanging fruit."