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Joke of the Day
"[in a normal speaking voice from top row of football stadium] Good luck today guys"
Next Joke
"Feel free to not tell me how sore you are from working out."
"So, my wife makes moonshine.... ...but I love her still."
"What kind of drink would a lollipop make? Sucker punch."
"I pick up my girlfriend at my her parent's house Her parents: She can eat anything except nuts, she is allergic to nuts. I reply, ""that may have ruined my plans for the evening"""
"people who back up into parking spots are worse than serial killers"
"""I don't want a lot for Christmas."" Later... ""All I want for Christmas is you."" EXACTLY WHAT DOES THAT DO FOR MY SELF-CONFIDENCE, MARIAH."
"What does Delia Smith say when she wants to fight a road? 'Let's be avenue.'"
"I have a strong relationship with the flying spaghetti monster... ...but it's strained to say the least"
"Nice beard bro looks like you just ate a bunch of lollipops then made out with your cat"