141650

Joke of the Day

"For animals with an ""amazing sense of smell"" dogs sure do sniff piles of turds for a long time before realizing ""Whoops, these are turds"""

"How to sink a submarine with 10 blondes in it? You knock on the door."

"I thought I would have to kill my bitch of a wife, but then she suffocated on saran wrap. I was so Glad."

"A classics professor goes to a tailor... ... to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: ""Euripides?"" The professor replies: ""Yes. Eumenides?"""

"What's the hottest album in hell right now? Views from the 666"

"Thank God pets can't talk, they know too much."

"I'm scared of trampolines They make me jump!"

"I learnt that Mel Gibson was born in Australia Well I guess you could say he was from... -puts on glasses- MELBOURNE"

"You cant expect an honest person to beat Usain Bolt... Only a cheetah can."

"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: Technically I pulled myself over, you only asked C: I know, right? They make us say it like that"