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Joke of the Day

"RT if you are my car keys and I can't find you"

"Dear algebra, Stop telling us to find your x, she's never coming back. Don't ask y. Sincerely, PB1541"

"Stupidity: Running over a string 10 times with the vacuum cleaner, picking it up, looking at it, then putting it back down to give the vacuum one more chance."

"Did you hear about the farmer's boy who hated the country ? He went to the big city and got a job as a shoeshine boy and so the farmer made hay while the sun shone !"

"The other day the lifeguard told me to stop peeing in the pool... I got such a fright I nearly fell in."

"I hear my local school wants to introduce massage classes to help combat stress but there's been a lot of opposition from parents' groups. Apparently, it's a very touchy subject."

"How many moths does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just two, but how they get in there.. I don't know. (Stolen from an old Maxim in my dad's storage)"

"What insect would Richard Simmons be? Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?"

"HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of Hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately."

"Two guys are on a boat with three cigarettes but nothing to light it with. What do they do? They throw one cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter."