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Joke of the Day

"I recently opened a suicide bomb store Business is booming"

"Q: What connects the computers in Sauron's office? A: A Tolkien Ring network."

"""Please ma'am! How do you spell ichael?"" The teacher was rather bewildered. ""Don't you mean Michael?"" she asked. ""No ma'am. I've written the 'M' already."""

"[raises hand during kickboxing lesson] when do we get to kick boxes? [instructor] that's not what we- [me] I just hate boxes so damn much"

"In Flint, Michigan, students have no difficulty learning A G and P Z. The problem's H to O."

"What the difference between a calender and you.... a calendar has dates."

"What do cigarettes and pussy have in common? The closer you get to the butt, the more flavor you get."

"I have a fifth sense when it comes to smells."

"I got my eyes on you One eye, talking to a another eye, say ""I don't know about you but something between us smells"""

"What do you call nuts on the wall??? (NSFW language) ...wallnuts! What do you call nuts on your chest??? ...chestnuts! What do you call nuts on your chin??? ...a mouth full of c0ck!!!"