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Joke of the Day
"A cell phone with a low battery is nothing more than a damn-cell in distress"
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"Where do Bees use the bathroom? At the BP station. (thanks grandma)"
"I changed my iPhone's name to Titanic. It's syncing now."
"Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side!"
"I'm writing a self-help book about always doing your best. Working title: ""Bestiality"""
"If you pitch a non-superhero, non-remake, non-sequel film in Hollywood they send your family to a work camp."
"Did you hear the news about half-life 3 Me neither"
"A wife is like a hand grenade... remove the ring and your house is gone!"
"How do you answer the question ""What's new?"" without sighing really loudly first?"
"What do you call a grizzly bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!"