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Joke of the Day

"They used to laugh whenever I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well they're not laughing now!"

"I always tell new hires, don't think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you."

"Ok I have 2 short jokes and a long one. joke joke jooooooooooooooke. I'll show myself out."

"Attention, guys wearing ""skinny Jeans"", you took the phrase ""getting into her pants"" the wrong way"

"Why did ISIS stop looting viagra? The goats all died."

"""Honey, I think I lost weight!"" ""Get on the scale, I bet you'll find it."""

"Apple needs to build a product for older gentlemen who have become fathers. iPop"

"The 8 fell over and stayed there for infinity."

"If you can take my girl, then you can have her. If I can take your girl, then you can have her too."

"How should a doctor treat a patient with Mesothelioma? Asbestos he can."