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Joke of the Day

"What do Mexicans play at their funerals? Another Juan Bites The Dust"

"yo mama is so fat she can sit on a t3 cable and make the internet traffic slow right down to 1 bit per day."

"I painted my computer black so it would run faster... ... But it didn't."

"My friend asked what would get black walnut stains off of his driveway I told him to call a cheap motel. If anyone would know how to remove nut stains it would be them."

"I've met some real pricks in my time but you my friend are the f*cking cactus."

"Why did the Chili Pepper cross the road? To get to the Otherside!"

"I feel like landlords who don't allow dogs but DO allow children don't know very much about children."

"The length of time toddlers stare at each other on the playground would get you stabbed if you did that shit as an adult."

"What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus? Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry."

"Two muffins were sitting in an oven. One says to the other, ""Oh boy, it sure is hot in here!"" The other says, **""OH MY GOSH IT'S A TALKING MUFFIN""**"