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Joke of the Day

"Wife: wow, we must have had a lot of trick or treaters come by! Me: wha? Her: Because all the candy is gone Me: Ooooh right. So many."

"Why do chicken coops only have two doors? If they had 4 doors they'd be chicken sedans."

"Did ya hear about the guy who got his hand caught in the printing press? He's in all the papers. ...Ba-dum bum"

"FUN FACT: Teens in the late 1800s sent/received an average of 75 telegrams a day."

"Everyone at this whistling convention looks extremely suspicious."

"Your first mistake was wearing heels in this dodgeball tournament, Jason. The second was thinking that they went with that dress."

"Still wondering if that guy I saw yesterday wearing a t-shirt in the pool was fat or not. So hard to tell!"

"The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it..."

"You are the toothpaste to my orange juice."

"I want to tell a kidney joke... but its just offal."