212494
Joke of the Day
"Before gravity was invented you had to tie down your cows or your cows would just float away"
Next Joke
"Jesus take the wheel...let the clutch out easy [car dies] Wow, water to wine but no manual transmission Jesus: Don't test my mercy"
"I've never considered myself a social butterfly. More like a social wasp. People run away a lot."
"I got called racist for saying 'pitch black' The umpire disqualified me and told me I struck out and that the better thing to say would be 'Jamal, I'm ready for your fastball'."
"My teacher accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine."
"My friend is a telemarketer. Sometimes, when he's relaxing, I'll call him out of the blue and piss him off."
"One day I'll cure deafness... You hear me!"
"You guys, The Hunger Games movie is distracting us from reality- which is, of course, The Hunger Games."
"Whoever made the almond-milk carton the exact same shape as the chicken-broth carton should have to eat this cereal."
"Killers normally target Family and friends Good thing I don't have any friends."