212290
Joke of the Day
"Everyone told me to follow the dreams So, I went back to bed"
Next Joke
"""ranch goes with everything"" i whisper while placing a bottle of ranch in grandma's coffin"
"I send thank you cards to people that don't invite me to their weddings"
"Standing in a park today wondering why a frisbee gets larger the closer it gets. And then it hit me! -Stewart Francis"
"Im trying to get back to my original weight. 7 lbs 9 oz"
"Girls become instant best friends when they find out they hate the same people."
"Judge: order in the court, ORDER IN THE COURT Me on the witness stand:*lips pressed against the mic* 2 hot dogs and a milkshake, your honor"
"Today I was given a box of Jamaican hair extensions.... It was dreadful"
"Did you hear about the guy who got a Viagra stuck in his throat? He had a stiff neck for a week."
"I wrote a song about drawing maps, but it never made the charts."