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Joke of the Day

"The past, present and future walk into a bar.. It was tense."

"I saw a woman in the supermarket pick up her kids by the hair Certainly raised a few eyebrows"

"What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Santa stops at three ho's."

"Why couldn't G Unit get on the Bus? They did not have 50 Cent."

"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a guy, on the side of the highway reciting the alphabet backwards and trying to walk a straight line."

"What's the best part of being a man? You don't have to sleep next to a hairy asshole for the rest of your life."

"I was invited to an event that requires causal dress. Should I wear a time machine or a syllogism print?"

"I forgot to turn my SWAG off before I went to bed. I woke up poor and working at McDonald's."

"What's the best part about sex with a 5 year old? Watching them break down on the witness stand."

"My girlfriend turned to me and said ""Dave, I think we've come to the end of the road."" ""Why?"" I said, shocked. ""We're in a lake."""