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Joke of the Day

"I was reading in the paper today... about this dwarf that got pickpocketed. How could anyone stoop so low?"

"Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him? Because she didn't like his lack of commitment"

"I just drank coffee I forgot on the counter this morning. It was so cold and bitter I wrote it an alimony check."

"Why can't T-Rex's High Five? Because they're all dead"

"So my wife's wallet got stolen 6 months ago... ...and all her credit cards are in it but I haven't reported it to the police yet because the thieves are spending less than she does!!!"

"What is a YouTube Heroes favorite comment? [removed]"

"I've heard that Americans don't find paedo jokes funny Guess they're just a bit touchy"

"Spent the last twenty minutes trying to get my sideburns even and now I'm sporting a mohawk."

"Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day."

"A butterfly just landed on the tip of my cigarette & exploded.nWhat in the hell do they put in butterflys?"