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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a chef who likes his work a bit too much... A Pan-sexual"

"What do dissecting a frog and explaining a joke on Reddit have in common? Both are shitty novelties."

"My wife wanted half & half... I got her whole milk"

"The CEO of AT&T just got married... The service was okay, but the reception was terrible."

"Did you hear about the man who was murdered in an elevator? It was wrong on so many levels."

"REP: we are pleased to provide u with the highest level of customer service! ME: oh sorry, got the wrong number. was tryin to call comcast"

"Sometimes I enjoy my steak undercooked, but that's rare."

"What do you call a competition between two assholes who like to masturbate A jerk off!"

"How do you organize a Space Party? You Planet!"

"A few years ago I dropped LSD with my ex-girlfriend and she wanted to get hot n heavy but I couldn't get it up. Now I get flaccid flashbacks."