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Joke of the Day

"Have you guys ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they"

"The milkman A man comes home to his wife and says 'apparently the milkman has slept with every woman on this street except one', his wife replies 'I bet it's that stuck up cow at number 12'"

"There are two types of people: those who can extrapolate from incomplete data... ..."

"""Have a seat"" *Turns on video of son eating pizza with a fork and knife.* ""Dad I..."" **Dad puts up hand* ""Please don't call me that."""

"A G N B That's bang out of order."

"Quitting twitter is the adult version of running away from home. We ALL know you're doing it for attention and we ALL know you'll be back."

"What is the difference between an 8 year old fine wine and a bad wine? One does their chores while complaining, the other doesn't do them at all."

"How did Dairy Queen wind up pregnant? Burger King didn't wrap his Whopper"

"I think I need to put my dog on antidepressants I ask him how his day was. His answer is always ""Rough"""

"There's no cool way to chase a bouncing ping pong ball."