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Joke of the Day

"My favorite way to clean my house is to stop inviting people over so no one sees it's still dirty."

"The only good mornings are the ones that start in the afternoon."

"4 words Donald Trump Presidential Library"

"The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared."

"Q: How many tourists does it take to change a lightbulb ? A: Six: One to hold the bulb and five to ask for directions."

"Bruce Willis marks his height on his bedroom wall. He started doing it 2 years ago & it's just an increasingly thick line at the same height"

"I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Did you hear about the man who was found dead shortly after insulting one Mr. T Crews? He died of dissin' Terry."

"Waking up Is the second hardest thing in the morning."

"The big news story tonight is about the balls being too small . . . At the state of the Union address!"