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Joke of the Day

"Why are Jedi terrible at Rugby? Because ""There is no Try."""

"[interview at winery] What strengths do you bring to the job? *long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now"

"If Arnold does star in the new Predator movie.. He would probably be sent back in time with his Expendables team to kill the Predator who was the actual John Connor."

"an always fun part of dating an extremely cool girl is learning just how many of her guy friends are secretly in love with her"

"My love is like a candle... Because if you forget about me I will burn your fucking house to the ground."

"Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone."

"What's a Warboy's from Mad Max's favourite web browser? Chrome"

"there are no stupid questions. but there are a lot of inquisitive idiots."

"Whiteboards are amazing! They're just so remarkable!"

"If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it... ...does a hipster buy it's album? Not mine but I love it."