211948

Joke of the Day

"Letter to Santa... Little boy: Santa please send me a little brother!... Santa: send me your mother!!!"

"Did you hear about the new Jason Bourne movie, still Bourne? It was set to come out next year but the plan was aborted"

"*live news report - You survived a fall of thousands of feet... - Yes. - Parachute failed? - Parachute? Haha. No. It was raining centipedes."

"I'm not mature enough to work at Siemens."

"It's nice when my kitchen smells extra clean cause I used an entire bottle of Clorox to kill one ant."

"Somebody stole my mood ring and I'm not quite sure how I feel about that.."

"Why is Hillary Clinton unfit to be president? Because she doesn't go to the gym"

"I hate it when I bite into an apple & then realize ""Whoops!"" it's a salmon..."

"I like my women like I like my file systems..... FAT & 32."

"I'm not homeless, but a lot of homeless things happen to me."