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Joke of the Day

"6:There's a monster under my bed Me:That's silly! There's no such thi..OH GOD IT'S EATING MY ARM 6:SCREAMS ME:KIDDING it only eats kids"

"I told a newcomer in prison that the other inmates were heavily interested in astronomy. When asked what I meant, I said, ""They are particularly interested in Uranus, so you don't want to moon them."""

"So a baby seal walks into a club... That's it."

"What do you call a bull masturbating? Beef stroganoff"

"What kind of car does god drive? A Christler"

"If I had a female dog... I would name her karma."

"Fucking dick shit condoms"

"*one day before marriage* Parents: Don't talk to the groom. Don't see him. Don't think. *one day after marriage* Parents: BABIES, BABIESS!"

"My wife threw a doughnut at my head. Now I have a glazy eye."

"I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit but it wouldn't matter."