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Joke of the Day

"Eating Your Homework Mom: Billy, why are you eating your homework? Billy: The teacher said it was a piece of cake!"

"Jesus loves you, but Zeus thinks you're stupid."

"I seared steaks in our home without adequate ventilation. Now there's a delightful and very visible meat cloud hanging over us."

"Sure, I'd get married. But follow him on Twitter? I'm not ready for that kind of commitment."

"My cat told me he's old enough to move out on his own now but then he said nah I'm just kitten"

"I don't punish the dog for eating my unattended food because I do the same thing to other people"

"What's a pedophile's favorite part about Halloween? Free delivery."

"Whats the most important aspect of gun safety to practice around a feminist? Trigger discipline"

"I like my women how I like my drinks Soft and extra large."

"The Violin Ensemble playing in Carnegie Hall somehow got an R-18 rating... The censors say it contains explicit scenes of violins encore."