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Joke of the Day

"Crabs A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, ""What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"""

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"*turns on shower* *gets undressed* *checks TL real quick* *floods the entire neighborhood*"
"""FOUR MORE YEARS!!! FOUR MORE YEARS!!!..."" - Honey Boo Boo's teachers her senior year of high school"
"What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? They're married."
"Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor Because she's always blowing bills"
"I have good news and bad news. The good news is that I slept with a coworker. The bad news is I work at the Dollar Store."
"Why is it difficult to identify horses from the back? They're always switching their tails!"
"99 Problems If you havin adventure problems I feel bad for you son, I dodged 99 arrows but my knee took one. Hit me!"
"Opinions are like orgasms. I don't care if a woman has one."
"So I asked my friend with synesthesia the time... He said half past purple"