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Joke of the Day

"Samantha from Facebook wants everyone to know she & her family are going on a cruise next week just in case you want to break into her house"

"If the picture you took of the bad weather while driving isn't followed by a picture of your car crash then it wasn't that bad."

"What is the worst thing a Jewish father can buy for his daughter? An easy bake oven!"

"What do you call two lesbians in a closet? Licker cabinet."

"Why didn't DiCaprio laugh at Oscar joke? Because he didn't get it."

"A man goes to the doctor and says ""Doctor, my farts sound like a motorbike"" Doctor says ""you have an abscess"" Man says ""how do you know?"" Doctor says ""because abscess makes the fart go Honda"""

"Women are too sensitive. My friend said she was having twins. All I said was at least you'll finally have 2 kids with the same father."

"I have now lived in New York long enough that I can eat a meal while running at full speed."

"I got my first period during Shrek 2 live in theaters which means I entered Shrek 2 a child & left a woman"

"Welcome to the celebrity impressionist club. Please take a seat, there are plenty of Chers. I'll see myself out...."