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Joke of the Day

"Where do you find a dog with no legs? The last place you left it."

"How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That's a hardware problem!"

"What did the digital clock say to the grandfather clock? Look grandpa! No hands!"

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge door... It said, ""this is not working. I'm going to my mothers."" I opened the door. The light came on. The beer was cold. Just what in the hell did she mean?"

"Q: If an elephant and a giraffe had a race, who would win? A: The elephant. The giraffe is in the refrigerator."

"Breaking: Microsoft announces the Monkees catalog now available on Zune."

"I have invented a machine *that reads the subtext in different voice*"

"Homeless man asked me if I could 'spare some change'. I told him 'change comes from within'. Long story short, I'm missing a kidney."

"""It got weird, didn't it? "" *Leaves on a pogo stick.*"

"When does a pear become a pair? When one appears."