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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid I was afraid of the dentist... Probable because he was a pedophile. Which begs the question of, how many fillings did he give me?"

"*looks east* ah, the atlantic ocean *looks west* ah, the pacific ocean *sees a bunch of idiots raving about mediocre r&b* ah,the Frank Ocean"

"What's the difference between the Oscars and the BET Awards? Oscar winners can thank BOTH of their parents."

"What do a wife and a tornado have in common? First, they suck. Then, they blow. Finally, they take half your house."

"There are 10 types of people in the world Ones who understand binary And the ones who don't."

"Wouldn't it be weird if you met someone from twitter in real life and all they did is say random one-liners every few minutes?"

"Santa is nearby... I can sense his presents"

"what do you mean I never take you anywhere we just took a 365 day trip around the sun"

"My mom always told me to be nice to the neighbors So I told my best friend to suck his own dick"

"There's no police in Canda... If your car is faster than a moose"