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Joke of the Day

"HOLD YOUR HORSES. TELL YOUR HORSES YOU LOVE THEM. DONT BE TOO STRICT WITH YOUR HORSES OR THEY'LL DATE OLDER HORSES GET TATTOOS & HAVE PONIES"

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"What's a pirate's favorite letter in the alphabet? Everyone thinks it's R but it's the C they love."
"My friend asked me what my Computing Logic class was about.. ""Mostly boolshit."""
"What did Australian Jesus say after the Last Supper? Check, mate."
"Ever need to go to the bathroom but can't find your iPhone so you just shit your pants? I know, right?"
"I still not comfortable with how we spell coffee."
"They say real men hunt their food, which is why I throw a spear through the box of pasta before letting it bleed out in my shopping cart."
"If I'm in a public bathroom and someone else in that same bathroom is on the phone and states that they are ANYWHERE ELSE, I flush my toilet"
"""Aw shit, my blackberry photos got hacked"" ... ...said nobody ever"
"Would you like a duck egg for supper? Only if you quack it for me."
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