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Joke of the Day
"A skinny guy with a 6-pack is like a fat chick with t*ts. It doesn't count"
Next Joke
"Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in five years? Me: My greatest weakness? I'm a bad listener."
"What happens to your car insurance if you don't notify them that you've wrecked a car? I don't know, but it's not wreck-amended."
"My phone just sent me an unsolicited hockey score. Aren't there Japanese horror films that start this way?"
"Ran my first 10K this morning. Just kidding I'm on my third donut."
"How do you top a car? tep on the brake, tupid!"
"If you're going to attack me in an @, you better be prepared to give me like three hours or so to think of a good comeback."
"The difference between pizza and love is that when the pizza ends it doesn't send you subtweets."
"Me: I'm a tenor. Her: You're a six, and I'm being generous."
"Professional wrestler name: Office Max. Signature move: Three Hole Punch."