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Joke of the Day

"What did the Scottish epileptic boy get for Christmas? A Wii fit"

"Like a good neighbor, StateFarm is..."

"What did the baby milk say to his older sister? You're spoiled!"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? If you said ""R"", you'd be wrong. You might think that it is ""r"", but it be the ""c""!"

"How do you make a little boy cry twice when your finished wipe your dick on his favourite teddy bear"

"what did the hat say to the other hat? ""you go on ahead."" I'd like to thank Twitternation, Steve Wozniak, Adam Schefter, @MattGroening and anyone else who helped me achieve this great feat!"

"UPDATE: This year's most popular Halloween costume will be Slutty Chilean Miner."

"What's faster, the speed of thought or the speed of light? Neither, it's diarrhea. Before you could think about it or even turn the lights on, you've already shat yourself."

"[sifting through mail] baby shower invitation? Haha, um no thanks, Linda. I have a regular size shower that I can use whenever I want"

"Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father Luke: really? Darth Vader: yeah. Why? Luke: you have the voice of a heavyset black guy is all"