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Joke of the Day

"What did one gay sperm say to the other? ""How am I supposed to find an egg in all this shit?"""

"Accordion to studies... Most people don't replace the first word of a sentence with an instrument"

"I left a godless morning fart in each of the kids' lunchboxes so they'll know I was thinking about them."

"I like women like i like my pizza Crusty with lots of cheese."

"I think metals are my favorite type of element The other ones just seem so lackluster."

"A news reporter introduces his new co-worker on air This Justin"

"What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the movie theater? You miss most of the film."

"I put a downward force on the end of a lever arm in hopes to get a cold-cuts sandwich but ended up with a meatball marinara... TL;DR Weight a moment, wrong sub..."

"what's the difference between an irish wedding and an irish funeral? one guest"

"I'd tell you a joke about UDP... but I'm not sure you'd get it."