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Joke of the Day

"Crazy ex-girlfriends are like a box of chocolates... They'll kill your dog."

"What is formed at the end of mitosis? My nailses"

"I went to the bar with my 21 year old girlfriend... They called me a pedophile because I was 42. That totally ruined our 10 year anniversary."

"I was never a photogenic person, because when everyone said cheese I said ""WHERE ?"""

"I love dead baby jokes. They never get old."

"why do gorillas have big nostrils? Big fingers!!!"

"Vladimir Putin didn't want anyone to find his collection of pornography, so he set his browser history to privyet."

"If I swallow magnets will it make me attractive?"

"Fortune teller told me that I will be fucked by a beautiful lady today, and damn he was right a pretty mail lady just handed me over an audit letter from IRS."

"The Seven Dwarfs of Facebook: Drunky, Stoney, Skanky, B!tchy, Lonely, Creepy, Stalky"