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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a Afghanistan wedding and a terrorist training camp? Don't ask me, I'm just the drone pilot."

"My friend just told me he has a chocolate lab. Turns out it's a dog, not a place. Bummer."

"Ever think about an old friend and wonder what they're doing right now? They're playing on their phone. Everyone is playing on their phone."

"What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? BA NA NA NA!"

"""Why won't you loan a neighbor a cup of sugar?"" [ sigh ] ""You're a pile of ants wearing a bathrobe."" [ bathrobe sags dejectedly ]"

"Violinists are so brave. They fret not."

"I went into a hotel.. I went into a hotel when a luggage boy came and said ""I'm the 'beg'gar"""

"Jews where do you send a jew with ADD...... wait for it... A concentration camp"

"WIFE: *yells into basement* Our savings account is entirely empty. Do you know what happened? ME: *assembling robot monkey butler* No idea"

"why did the tomato blush... he saw the salad dressing!"