209930

Joke of the Day

"What did the chauffeur say to the newlyweds as they passed the last rest stop? Speak now, or forever hold your piss."

"What do you call a mushroom with a 12 in stem? A fungi to hang out with"

"What do you call a nun in a wheelchair Virgin Mobile"

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards of boats If they fell forwards they would be on the boat"

"I finally decided to unfollow someone who hasn't tweeted in a year. They'll probably come back tomorrow & make me look like a real c**t."

"How is making cheese like invading Syria? You get some Kurds in the way."

"Whats the difference between a dirts bus stop and a crab with big boobs? One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean."

"Nothing worse than meeting the right person at the wrong time in your life."

"How can you tell when your drowning in milk? When it gets pasteurise."

"OPEN UP. THIS IS THE POLICE. THANK YOU. CAN WE USE YOUR BATHROOM"