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Joke of the Day

"2016 jokes Sleep is my drug....my bed is my dealer....and my alarm clock is the police."

"I bet college professors never get tired of watching freshmen get fat. I know I wouldn't."

"Why did the Jew prefer to sleep in the dark? Because the lights in his house were contolled by a switch"

"I suck my stomach in when ever I weigh myself!nnIt doesn't make me weigh less but at least I can see the numbers!"

"How do you tell the difference between a triathlete and biathlete? A triathlete doesn't go both ways."

"Why do mathematicians think that spring is summer? It's not their fault. May tricks them."

"If we can't hit our kids, what's next? A society slowly becoming less violent as we learn more about child development and human psychology?"

"A cop asked me if I was high last night. I was on my balcony at my apartment and told him, ""For being three floors up higher than you, I'd say I am!"""

"Why is your washing machine always laughing? It's taking the piss out of your knickers!"

"How do you blow up a Muslim's iPhone? Put it into airplane mode"