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Joke of the Day
"2016 jokes Sleep is my drug....my bed is my dealer....and my alarm clock is the police."
Next Joke
"What is the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is heavy and the other is a little lighter."
"I love my cats so much, I love that I get to have these two tiny killing machines cuddled up in bed with me"
"Twitter action film: MAN 1: Follow me. MAN 2: On Twitter? MAN 1: No. Physically, follow me. Or you'll be killed. MAN 2: On Twitter?"
"Why does 0=1 COS(0)=1"
"I like to leave my gas cap hanging off when I'm on a date so when people start honking and waving I can wave back like I'm famous"
"What's the proper name for a continually chafed asshole? ""Mr. President."""
"What do you say to a black man in a suit? Will the defendant please rise?"
"My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched."
"My girlfriend likes to get f**ked in the ear Every time I try to stick my dick in her mouth she turns her head!"