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Joke of the Day

"Don't make fun of fat people with lisps... They're thick and tired of it"

"Did you hear Apple is going into the wine business? Their vineyard will produce every varietal of wine... except ports."

"My pet name for my manhood, for obvious reasons, is Whitesnake...You know, cuz... ""Here I go again on my own""."

"Never Fall in love with a Heroin addict because even though they have a lot of love to give. It's all in Vein"

"What is Romeo and Juliet's favorite fruit? Cantaloupe."

"I was just wondering, if you're not too busy sometime, maybe I could pet your dog"

"Did you hear the one about the gang that's throwing eggs at people and kicking their asses? No Yolks but that enough about the Beaters"

"Anne Frank's famous last words. Brb, door"

"I saw in the newspaper that my town was searching for a pedophile. I called in thinking I could help but it turns out that it wasn't actually a job opening."

"Google glasses? No thanks, too much tech. It's weird ""You can secretly watch Netflix at work"" Oh, please take literally all of my money."