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Joke of the Day

"Wiping with only one square of toilet paper is a meditative experience.... You really get in touch with your inner self."

"I don't know about you guys... but I don't want Trump's trickle down economics...."

"What does a slave owner do with his slaves when he's finished with them? Races 'em."

"How do you get a unicorn from neighing in your front yard? Put it in the back yard."

"What do you call a gay dinosaur? A megasaurass."

"thanks, but I'M TOO FAR AWAY FOR YOU TO BE HOLDING THE DOOR OPEN FOR ME WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS STOP IT"

"I was sitting in traffic today and I got run over."

"When a couple asks me for directions,I know that the wife is forcing the guy to ask.That's why I give them wrong ones to teach her a lesson."

"A new hospital opens for the first time, and the doctor is getting antsy... ""What are we waiting for?"" the doctor asks. ""Patients, Doctor,"" replied the nurse. ""Patients."""

"sure you can PAY for a professional photographer, OR you can just lie spread out in a field until 1 finds u and just starts taking pictures"