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Joke of the Day

"Why does mowgli run away from Shere Khan? Islamophobia."

"I bet Ryan Gosling doesn't even blow his candles out. He probably just winks at them and they faint."

"What's the difference between a circus and a strip club? The circus has a bunch of cunning stunts..."

"Man, you see that clown who's been spending all day hiding from faggots? No, havn't seen him? Interesting.."

"I'd like to tell you I can keep you safe Son but lets be realistic here, we're dealing with a closet that has a God damn monster in it."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar... A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says ""We have a drink named after you."" The grasshopper says, ""You have a drink named Steve?"""

"I'm losing followers two by two. Maybe they are all boarding an ark somewhere."

"There are assholes, and then there are people who applaud after movies."

"Well ladies valentines day is over. Time for the men to go back to being a-holes again."

"Everything I know about sex I learned from Tetris: rotate it and hope it fits in another slot"