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Joke of the Day

"I think I saw Michael J Fox in a gardening centre earlier... It was hard to tell, he had his back to the Fuchsias."

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"What do you call a digital tree? All bark and no byte"
"I just sold adderal to a guy who thinks its viagra! Ahh, he'll thank me later."
" I don't do different things... It's just that I do things differently!"
"Sometimes I stand in front of a Redbox until a long line gathers behind me.. Then I'll yell. Where's the fucking Pepsi button on this thing?"
"*takes a picture of mother nature* MOTHER NATURE: delete it"
"This grocery store is playing ""Freebird"" which I interpret as an invitation to shoplift a turkey."
"How many Trump supporters does t take to change a light bulb? None, they'll just make the Mexicans do it."
"Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs? They always take things literally."
"""LOL, NOPE"" -Me, 25 seconds into the marathon"
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