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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a digital tree? All bark and no byte"

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"What do you call tension in the percussion section? Druma"
"A Scotsman and an Irish man walk into a bar And the Scotsman shouts ""All the drinks are on me!"" The next morning the headlines read *""Irish Ventriloquist Found Dead Behind Bar""*"
"What do you call cantaloupe flavored gum? A: A Ty-lemma (pronounced like dilemma)"
"I think the best way to prevent a polar bear from raping you is to just say ""Yes!"""
"My wife asked me what new hairstyle she should get, so I held my breath until I passed out."
"The first rule of laziness is"
"Prison Guard: ""So you two cons are in love?"" Con1: ""Yes."" Con2: ""It's like we finish each other's..."" *in unison* ""death sentences."""
"I got sent out of class today at school. The teacher yelled at me, ""What would your parents say if I called them?' I replied, ""Hello?"""
"Customer: That crust on the apple pie was too tough. Waiter: That wasn't the crust that was the pie plate."